Now and then...

Life should be a time that you have to enjoy BUT not forgetting why we livethis life....

I was wrong about my relationship. Though i thought that everything was going great for me, it's been hard...things got too complicated ad hard for me to accept the fact that life = learning a lesson!

The happy thing that happen to me last few days was about this good fren of mine during my school days..let me call him Mr X. the most memorable thing that i never forgotten about him was the time when i diden sleep one whole nite just talking to him. We were honest to each other when we said that we like each other(mayb he forgoten) and we understading that we are not fated to be together as lovers but good frens.Therefore, i concluded that he was my first male best friend! tat's what good thing. he loves to joke around and playful. But this was in the past. Time passes by and he and me, we never got closer, we lost contact suddenly and you know, some things are just not meant to be doNE.He got his own problems and from then on, i never contact him only remembering him as a fren, indeed, a good fren.

So, i met him sometime ago and was so shock!i went silent for a few seconds and BLOOP! hey!!!how are u???and tats al i said. i diden get to say much because i was still shock by his presence..u noe, i've not met him or talk to him for like 5 years??totally silent by the shock! then, i met him on frenster. definitely i miss him rite???5 years was long enough for me to have gotten married!but definitely not with him rite??(of course lah with my hubby.)ok...we commented each other and all but, that's all. so, it's just a connection through internet. not by chatting on msn, not by talking on the phone, and don even think of meeting him and chitchat.

This was wat happen. Some people just don know how to MYOB(mind your own business) and trust me, i'll never forgive him because i've help him before in his relationship and k=now, he tried to ruin my relationship!let him find out himslef. u don need to tell him idiot!

Tat nite, hbby calling me and sc0olding me about the comment i left for him.

Listen here k hubby if you're readig this...

"I dgn die hanya setakat kawan dan i rindu die macam i rindu seorang teman. i rindu die macam i rindu faz, macam i rindu zma, macam i rindu seorang teman. i was just merely telling him tat it's been long since we talk to each other and it;s been 5 yeARS.He usd to my best fren. i use to admire him, yesh. it's the fact but itu dulu. I dgn die dah ckp dah, cear tings up that we might like each other but, we know ourselve that we are not meant to be together infact, just friends. you have ur life, and i have my life, so be it or not, we're just frens and not more than that. That is what in my mind faham by...i tak salah kan u over this matter. I salahkan myself. Pasal i create this misunderstanding between us that i said "misses from izyan".....u get what i mean.....tat was all. I'm sori for saying that but, have u ever thought why i berani accept his comment then?letting everyone see it??definitely it was because we are just frens and not what you think. if i was having any kind f relationship that is more than just frens, why would i even publicise his comment????u get it??i would i even let people viewing my profile to read that comment???u get it?tell me, who doesn't know that i alredy got a bf???u tell me now???i "showcase" u to everyone i know and almost the whole world know it(that's a lie) but y, all my frens know it. why would i want to show a bad impression to people by tunjok kan tat "eh, izyan mcm bitch siak, dah ada matair pon nk megatal"...u crazy???who ever who knows me well, definitely know the FACTs about me. You get me now?? you're everything to me...remember what i always say.."you're my boyfriend, you're my bestfriend, my brother, my sister(if u want pon can lah), my enemy, my bitch, my basterd, my rainbow, my EVERYTHING!and most of all, you're my life!"

Don even think of me and that Mr X because if u were to think that way, you're a disgrace to my level of standard of picking up guys as my bf. why would i choose him, a fren over u, my bf???

So by, don underestimate me. i'm not what u think i am."

Yap...so that's what happen to me. I'm sure if you were to be in my position, you would feel the same. Take this as a learning point and prevent the worst from happening.

and yap, i'm craving for curly thick eye lashes for this hari raya...

I love you all...

*my life*

k...me and bf been doing great lately in the month of fasting. Alhamdulillah, Allah maha kuasa, maha penyayang...Bahagia kan kite berdua walaupon there are small problems that we face, but still manageable.

Wat i'm stressing about rite now is money matters, sleeping matters(schooling matters), Lappy matters, friends' matters.

MOney --> out of cash to celebrate raya....baju raya pon takda...ask mum, "kau pergi lah mintak bapak kau"...enough! i had enough of asking from my dad. He already gave me an allowance of $100 which $50 are for my mrt consession. Hp bill being cut off ($2++)...not working anymore....and so...wat do u expect??i shall wait for that lucky day when money falls down just like rain...

Tired of school. every single day i drag my feet to school, somemore fasting month(not actuali because of tat lah)...jst uncomfortable....always been having late nights(I can't sleep, i need sleeping pills)....Wake up morning, canot wake up, late for 4 days straight...

Laptop need upgrading...can u believe my ram is only like 200++MB???unbelievable rite??wat to do??free laptop wat....well, i need upgrading asap. Being in STA, Sonic arts need alot of these sound generating softwares.lol. Nak jadi sound engineer mah...must lah sacrifice money to upgrade but, still thinking because i thought of BEGGING my mum or my dad for a new laptop...While this laptop can be a PRESENT for my sis.lol. Hopefuly, i'm able to achieve tat.

Finally, friend matter. I don't know y i got friends who doesn't even treat me like a friend, instead a stranger.(too much negative attitude is it?)...don ven reach there to having true friends. I go to school alone because some people just don like to go with me...Go back home oso alone because???no one cared rite. being in rp, was the worst scenario. I don even have one good fren who's willing to be my FRIEND!!hemm....y ehh???m i tat attitude??i'm always consent. i do msg or msn. but some people just ignore me...when i do a good deed, people just like thank u, leave n go...k, maybe i was a bit anti-social. but come on, who doesn't when u're embarrased of wat people think of u. I don even know if anyone is even reading my blog. Well, the purpose of having this blog is to expres my feelings, so, ok...i don need to have everyone in the world to be reading my blog. people might just think tat i'm crazy. kk, enuf of tat.

Wat i want to achieve is to have good friends. I don't like having friends who come n go...i need one rite now. I don mind if she's busy all nite as long as she wants me to be part of her life....(smiles) life is great, even greater if u have good friends, moreover, true friends.

To whom they think that they're friends of mine, if i did hurt ur feelings ever, i'm sorry for all the bad things i did that make you dump me out of ur life. i need a change, i need a break.(can someone pls say, "have a kit kat?")

I love you....whoever you are.......in my life........

E25G and bf attachment

I would say, new class was still ok lah....cause i still have debbie, yi wen, jiyun and etc?
There's fin, elvin tat i noe. Elvin was somehow the first malay guy i know on my first day of school, STA freshmen camp....While fin, me and bf always passes by him and we would always call him DANIEL, u noe, tat malay band tu..hahax...Last time in my class, with rendy and all, fin always came to my class, and because i was the juara for one of the shows, he noticed me and said i got a nice voice.(well, thank u)(i'm not trying to be arrogant here, it's basic courtesy..)

However, not much interaction with the classmate. Fin too..he diden talk to me...well, wat to do...i'll start to talk more after bulan puasa..lol....fasting month would rather be a good month to be silent, as in be humble lah. Don;t be so kecoh, later people pon don't like...

Enough of me...

Now, bf had been in attachment at Tuas area, at Mencast. Trust me, it's hell.. I pity him sey...2 guys got this attachment, him and Qam...now, Qam got fired and left with bf alone. Pity bf. Mana taknye....bf's the only malay guy working there. All chinese plus banglah...but sometimes mayb he's part of the banglah...haha...(hubby, baby just kidding) lol.....

Well, his boss had been trying to find his mistakes too trying to fire him too. Well, too bad, bf react fast and follow my advise. Be strong cause Allah always there for you. Everything that happen in life will always have a reason behind it. Now, he left with 2 months. Ada ke patut his oss told him to wash the toilet if u want to work here????crazy rite....??Ni lah, work in a chinese company, they are TOO BIASED AND RACIST. If more singapore companies are ike this, i would never want to live here although it's the safest country in the world!(sigh)

But too bad, bf react fast by telling his school teacher who's in-charge. And try to threaten him if he bully bf again, bf's parents goin to complain to MOM. GooD!

I'm proud of u hubby. Worries off my shoulder!pwwt!u just be patient there. Lagi 2 months rite??i'l always be there for u k babe!! i love you!!

KK....next post...