i'm totally broken hearted....

he asked for a break up.....mati-mati nak putus....macam mane boleh rabak gini...i want to die now...can????suicide????can????i don need any future no more....he's seriously want a break up...jahat sgt ke aku sampai die sanggup ckp putus????Ya Allah!!!tolong lah aku.....

asik die mintak putus,putus,putus....takde org yang pernah aku rely on mcm mane aku rely kat die...dah macam darah daging sendiri.depressed siak....harap2 takde pape kan jadi kat aku...

I'm so sad....boyfren doesn't want me anymore.....i don't know what else to change the situation....even the word "I LOVE YOU" doesn't work on him..................

indah, manisnya cinta,
semuanya terasa indah
bagai dek alam
cerita cinta hadir bahagia selama-lama.

katamu kekasih yang sedang kita alami
takkan kekal tuk selamanya
mengapa kekasih tiada kau percaya
kebenaran cerita kita,

bagaimanakah lagi untuk aku buktikan
selamilah pada kejujuranku.
jadikanku arjuna,arjuna di hatimu.
Percayalah oh puteri.......

ni lah ape yang aku rasekan skrg.......i'm so useless yet no one cares.....he hates me now and i don't know what else to do you see.....of cos i don't want a break up. i really, really do love him truly from my heart...i got scolded from parents when i firstly started the relationship but i still go on strong....our relationship did exist a third party, by my naked eyes but, i still love him and doesn't hate him.....what ever that he did to me that's hurtful, i tried to let go......and still love him more than today but....y didn't he see's that all in his heart....i noe...i'm wrong.....i call him names, hurt his feelings and it's definitely hard for him to please me....i know i'm the stupid one but do i deserve this after all that we've gone through for 2 years 6 months and 2 days????

now...i'm blogging at8.20pm at my bro's hous and he just msg me saying if i were to patch things up wif him, wat will i promise him....???

I don't know if i could make him happy...with my stupid fucking attitude like this...how am i suppose to promise him anything.....this seems hard for me....u noe...i wish i could make him happy by breaking up with him but....it's hard for me to be single...i can't...i was mend to live with him my whole life...i was never embarrassed when i m with him...i got no secrets hidden from him...well...maybe for a guy like him, i'm sure he have secrets......he had never tried to tell me anything about his guy stuff....although i seem to be interested...well, back to here....i just replied to him the i promise that i will be willingly to die for his love.....i don't know lah...i seriously want to make him happy by breaking up with him because he wants it.....but since i can't, i don't know what to say.....................

To be continued....

ended blogging at 8.28pm